It's better to listen the first time

Basically, God has been warning me about getting emotional deeper with a particular person and let's just say I didn't really listen. Recently, I've just found out something about this person and all I can do is just laugh. I'm laughing because I should have been obedient in the first place but I had to find things out the hard way... And lol, I'm just laughing because the whole situation is funny to me. 

Sorry I can't really go into much detail about the entire situation (need to respect the other person's privacy). But all I can say is, just trust God. Sometimes we think we know best and our ways sounds more reasonable. But if you put your trust, life and hope in God then all you've got to do is just learn to yield and obey him the first time! Doing this will save us from a lot of problems, mishaps and hassles that we experience everyday. 

The whole situation has also made me realise that my future is secured in God. Relationship whilst, I know He will definitely guide me. He has done in the past and He's still doing it now. I just need to learn to obey no matter how difficult it is :D 

P.s to those that personally know me, don't ask me who this person is because I won't tell you. I'll just laugh and change the conversation :) Love you all! 

This page did it for me!

I was a little bit worried about reading 'The Walk of the Spirit- The Walk of Power' by Dave Roberson because I thought I would fall asleep and get bored of it. To be honest, I did get distracted. Only God knows the amount of times I checked my Facebook and Twitter even though no notifications were coming through. Nevertheless, I carried on and pushed myself, which eventually landed me on page 12 of the book. This page did it for me. It was all I needed to stir me back into speaking in tongues. All I just wanted to do was to speak, speak and speak! There was this huge excitement inside me and ooo... Just read page 12 of the book below. Whether I am going to carrying on reading the book is another issue though. I've already gained what I need from it so I'm not sure whether to continue. Probably will do (great! That's another book added to my list!) 

The extract from the book: 

"Why did God send the Holy Spirit to live inside of you? So He could change you into the image of His Son. And in order to accomplish that goal, the Holy Spirit brought His own prayer language with Him so He could pray for all that concerns you

With that prayer language, He gets involved directly with you in a one-on-one relationship that is independent of anyone else, even of your own mind. When the Holy Spirit prays for you, He takes the plan He hears the Father utter and pours it through your spirit. And the language He uses to express that plan as it flows through you is the supernatural language of tongues.

Every time you give the Holy Spirit opportunity, He will use that language to pray for your calling, to pray out the plan of God, to edify you, and to charge you with His holy power. He will lend Himself to you as your faith allows Him to be activated within your spirit. He will pull you out of everything Jesus set you free from and into everything Jesus says that you are in Him.

If you want to, you can go into your room and pray in that supernatural language for two, four, or even twelve hours, and God the Holy Spirit will create every single word that comes out of your mouth. It is your choice to pray or not to pray. But every time you do choose to pray, you will come out of that time of prayer more edified in His plan and purpose for you than if you hadn’t done it." 

Struggling...

Having finished my exams last month, I had planned to spend a large amount of my time with God, you know, to try and build a stronger relationship with him before I left for university. I planned to do this through in-depth studying, more time speaking in tongues,  listening to messages, reading books and so on and so forth. I had the time so why not? Also, with all the worrying stories I'd heard about university, I realised how central I would need to God to be in my life, in order to keep me from compromising my beliefs for the things of the world.

So far, my plan to dig deeper into God has been a big struggle! Early hours of yesterday morning, I sent a message to my mentor saying "I'm struggling". I explained how I would set time apart for God but never actually did much when it came to it. For example, I had planned that in the 1 hour it takes me to walk to work and back home, I would speak in tongues. I make a good start, but my mind wanders and drifts off so I end up not doing it anymore. At home, when I try to read a Christian book, I end up falling asleep so I tried going to the library to read and it's the same result- I fall asleep. However, I realise that when I pick up a secular book to read, my attentiveness is intact and I'm able to read it for quite a long time without falling asleep or drifting off. Hmmmmm.... Whilst watching the dishes yesterday, I attempted to listen to a message on YouTube and again, I couldn't even concentrate on the message. I remember 1 or 2 things from the message but that could be due to the fact that I had heard it before. At times, I would go to bed early in order to spend some time with God and lately, it hasn't been working out (unsurprisingly, I get bored or fall asleep even when I've slept in the afternoon and should therefore not be tired!) so instead of sleeping, I end up watching a movie or catching up on a TV series I've missed and guess what?! My ability to stay awake is no problem whatsoever, whereas anything about God was a battle! 

The text had to go out to my mentor. I needed help because this couldn't carry on anymore. My spiritual life was dry; I just wanted to be reconnected with God and this was affecting other areas of my life.  Lol, it even affected this blog as I had no inspiration and help from God on what to write. Anyway, it's over. I say it over. (*Nigerian accent*). Paraphrasing what my mentor said, he said I was going through a spiritual warfare and basically had to get my mind refocused. I needed to stir up the gifts inside me (in reference to 2 Timothy 1:6). For example, since I was struggling to speak in tongues, I needed to listen to messages about speaking in tongues or read books about it. Doing this would motivate me and stir up something inside me to speak in tongues. I'm going to read 'The Walk of the Spirit- The Walk of Power. The Vital Role of Praying in Tongues' by Dave Roberson. I've read parts of this book in the past and it did stir me up to speak in tongues,  so I'm hoping for the same results. If you want to read this book, here's the link for the PDF format: http://www.daveroberson.org/Media/7/WOSWOP%20Portrait%2010.pdf 

(I will be starting a book and fashion page on this blog). 

Anyway, I'll let you know how this whole getting back into God process goes. Bye :) 

Carry on sowing

There's this girl who I used to speak to so much and I practically saw her as my baby sister. I remember every Thursday after school, we would go to youth service together and during the weekends go to church programmes together (if there was any). She would ask me for advise relating to God, school, self esteem etc. I really enjoy being surrounded with people like this because it's like they bring out me- they bring out what I am supposed to be doing. They activate the gifting that is inside therefore their testimonies are my testimonies as it brings joy to me. Somehow, my relationship with the girl got cut. I don't even know how it happened. Maybe it's because we were no longer in the same environment (I moved to sixth form, meaning there was less contact as she was in secondary school and then she later moved to a different school after GCSE). Every time I see her, it's just 'Hi, are you?' End of conversation.

Anyway, today, this girl spoke to me. It's been almost 2 years that I haven't really spoken to her and out of the blue, she pops up. She asked me for advise on certain things and I was so filled with joy and kept on smiling. The reason for my happiness wasn't because she asked me for advise but it was because she was reminding me of all the things we used to do together in the past and I realised I had made an impact in her life. 2 years ago, I might not have understood what I doing but now, I can see the results of what I was doing. She wants to go back to chasing after God and go back to the life where her cares will be in the things of God and not in the things of the world. She even quoted Galatians 1:10 "Does this sound as if I am trying to win human approval? No indeed! What I want is God's approval! Am I trying to be popular with people? If I were still trying to do so, I would not be a servant of Christ." (GNT). When she said this, I realised she meant business and she was being genuine.

Out of all this, God taught me something. He made me realise that I should carry on sowing even though I can't see the results now. There are some friends that I made the conscious decision that I would NEVER talk to them about God again. It took me a long time to make that decision; I sought advise from different people before making the decision and one thing finally happened that made me make that decision. I definitely know that I made that decision out of emotions because I thought I was doing good in someone's life but to that person, it wasn't good. Me talking to them about God was frustrating and annoying to them and when I heard this, I broke down in tears and thought now is the time for me to back off. It's only today that God has made me realise that I shouldn't stop. A lot of people get frustrated at me or dislike me when I talk to them about God but you know what, I am going to carry on because something might happen in the future that will cause them to think about all the things I've been talking to them about. I have to accept hate but I know in the future, I will get the love when the testimonies come.

I hope I make sense. If I don't, you can talk to me or send an email to 'my journey with God' on Facebook. The bottom line of the message is carrying on sowing. In different areas of your life, carrying on sowing because one day, you will see the results of your sowing. For example, I used to question why I give tithe. I know the Bible instructs us to but I've never really seen the evidence of what my tithe does. I know I have life, good health, journey mercies etc (which I'm honestly grateful for) but I hear big testimonies in church that relates to people giving tithes e.g. people getting better paying jobs etc but none of these 'big' things has happen to me. I shared my concern with my sister and she just told me to carry on giving the tithe. First reason being because it's a good practice therefore I should find it easier when I am older and have much more cares in the world (e.g. a family, bills etc) and second being, there might be a time in my life when I really really need to call on God and I can kind of use my tithe as evidence. I should really elaborate more on this but that's a separate topic and I have some revision to get on with lol. Just remember, carry on sowing! :D Bye! 

Prayer

My mentor told me to pray these prayers everyday as much as I can. There was a season when I did and honestly, I saw the change in my life. I understood the word of God a lot more and I got revelation of God's word when I was studying. It was like things were so much easier to understand and there was this joy and peace that came along with it. I don't know, I guess when you understand something or get a revelation of something- you'll be happy?  

The prayer: (Ephesians 1:17-19 NKJV)

"17. that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, 

18. the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, 

19. and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power"

I made it my own so it was easier to read, understand and pray:

“God shall give me the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him

The eyes of my understanding shall be enlightened to see His light

So that I may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in His saints 

And what is the exceedingly greatness of His power towards us who believe accordingly to the working of His mighty power." 

I don't pray them as much as I used to but fortunately today, God brought it to my remembrance to start doing them again. I have it written on an A3 paper, stuck to the wall so that it will constantly be in my face anytime that I am in my room.

To make my prayer more effective, I decided to research what each verse means so that I am able to pray with understanding and really pray out what I want instead of just repeating the same point over and over again and get bored of it. You should try it J

Piercings...

I remember for my 16th birthday, I told my sister I wanted my belly button pierced but she advised me not to. She didn't go all scriptural on me. She simply asked me these questions: 

Sis: when you get it done, are you going to be wearing small tops to show it off?

Me: No 

Sis: then what's the point of getting it done or who are you going to be showing it off too? 

Me: my friends. They will see it when I am changing for PE in the changing rooms. 

I was joking with her and I didn't get it done because I understood where she was coming from... I hope you do to. 

Since I wasn't allowed that, up till today, I really want the top of my left ear pierced especially when they are so in trend but all the thoughts that go on in my mind stops me from doing it. To make it worst, quite a lot of people around me have theirs done and when I see it, I'm just thinking "aww that looks so nice" I'm not talking about people that have about 10 piercings on one ear (exaggerating)- that's just looks disgusting and taking it too far, I'm talking about the ones that have maximum of 3/4. But in reality, something is still stopping me from getting it done. 

I actually have two holes at the bottom of my left ear and I did used to wear earrings on both holes but now-a-days, when I try to do that, I don't get peace of my mind and  I get this discomfort- almost like I am about to do something that I shouldn't be doing. All these thoughts are going in my mind. The reason for having two holes in the first place is because my mum pierced another one for me due to the first one being too big. Too big that I always lost my left earring because the butterfly would fall out then my earring will fall out because it wasn't secured. My mum pierced another one for me and told me to stop wearing earring in the first one so that it can close itself, but you know I didn't listen to her. I just saw it as an opportunity to start wearing two earrings :) Cooooool. I did that for few years up until the start of this year where I have stopped and just struggle to wear two earrings on my left ear. 

How did the post come about? 

This post came about because I'm planning to get my hair relaxed (woo, team relaxed :) I tried the natural thing for 6 months and it got too painful so I just had to turn to the relaxer. Anyway, that's another separate issue). Okay, so I'm getting my hair relaxed tomorrow and I was just thinking about how I would have it styled for Sunday service. Because of the outfit I will be wearing (lol I have already planned what I will be wearing. It's because I'm in the choir and we only get to wear our choice of outfit once a month, so might as well make it look good :)). Okay, I really need to stop drifting off. Because of my outfit, I wanted my hair to be packed up to the middle in a bun. But the problem is when I have my hair packed up to the middle; nothing hanging by the side, no fringe- just plain and simple, my face either looks shocked, plain or dull. Anyway I don't like my face looking like that but I like the hair style. So to sort this out and make myself feel better, I would wear two earrings on my left ear. In my mind, I think doing this adds a little something to my face structure and doesn't make it look as plain/dull/shocked as it might do without the extra earring. So for this Sunday, I was thinking am I going to have to wear two earrings on my left ear? One voice in my mind is saying "yes", another voice is saying "no", another voice is saying "no, just style your hair differently. Right now, I think I am saying "I'm not going to bother getting my hair relaxed. Everyone seems to be busy so I'll get it done another day" :) 

To conclude, there is actually a reason why I haven't had all these piercings done and why I only choose to wear one earring on each ear. Writing this post has actually made me fully understand why I don’t but I won't state the reason because it's a personal reason and revelation between God and me, not everyone will understand the reason and the reason will definitely create some problems between me and people. So it's best to leave it unsaid. Although you can get a little glimpse of the reason from the Bible but all I am going to say and leave you with is, as a Christian, your image and the way you carry yourself really matters. 

Thank you :)

Why the long break?

Hi everyone! 
Some of you might be wondering why I haven't written a post for a while. It's not because I haven't had anything to write. It's because my previous post created some issues between me and some friends so I have been very reluctant and hesitant to post another one. But hey, here I am, doing it! I’ve come to the acceptance that some people will take offence to some of the things I say and write even though I don’t mean any offence. I have been told that I am a judgemental person but I personally don’t think so or at least, I don’t mean to be. It’s a process God is working on. It’s just I get this type of grieving in my heart when I see people do things outside the will of God especially those who know God’s word, so sometimes I just speak out and the things I speak out sounds judgemental to people. Don’t worry;even I get annoyed/angry at myself when I do things outside the will of God especially when I know what I am doing is wrong. For example, I remember one time when I was doing PE in secondary school. My worldly friends would be singing worldly songs and I would say out loud “I know I am not suppose to be singing this song but I am going to sing it anyway” then I sang and danced with them. Later in the day,when I thought about my actions, I would condemn myself like “why did you sing the song when you know you’re not supposed to. How are you showing you are different from them if you’re going to indulge yourself in the same activities they are doing?!” But the thing is I don’t remain feeling condemned. I make sure I learn from my wrong doings and carry on living life. It’s really good toreflect on your day. It makes you think of how you can handle things better andyou might just learn something from it. Try it! J